“In the end, just three things matter: How well we have lived.
How well we have loved. How well we have learned to let go.”
Jack Kornfield, author and teacher of Buddhism
Every successful professional faces disappointment—in themselves and in others. Clients might fail to appreciate your work; colleagues might fail to deliver what you need; and you might fail yourself by missing a detail or being blindsided by something you should have anticipated.
I would be lying if I denied that certain people disappointed me. Some marginalized or summarily rejected my suggestions; others outright ignored me or, worse, criticized my efforts behind my back. Did they really think I wouldn’t find out? In a law firm, the walls talk much more than naysayers realize.
Surprisingly, I have not been disappointed by my clients. They understood my desire to transition their matters to younger attorneys and were eager to build those new relationships. The key was honesty and lead time; by telling them what to expect well in advance, I eliminated surprises. Most businesspeople understand succession and promotion because their own companies prioritize those transitions. They “get it.” Most law firms do not.
My disappointment with the firm was more about process than substance. Due to the pandemic and competing priorities, I wasn’t at the top of management’s list. Consequently, the resolution of my post-career deal was delayed longer than I liked—though we did eventually cross the finish line.
I was also disappointed by colleagues who chose not to embrace written business plans and structured schedules. However, the prospect of inheriting active clients and a multi-million-dollar base excited plenty of other ambitious attorneys. I simply moved my practice to that group. Those who chose not to participate are on their own. They have their own way of doing things, and while I suppose success could be a function of pure luck or “working hard,” I highly doubt it.
My most profound disappointment was with myself: I allowed the firm to delay decisions for too long, putting my future at risk. I didn’t secure my 2021 deal until January of that year—weeks after I had already automatically converted to non-equity status. My 2022 deal wasn’t set until late December 2021, and the 2023 deal took until February.
Despite these delays, I was never blindsided. Why? Because I had a written plan. While things might have gone better had they happened sooner, the experience was manageable because I had a roadmap accepted by the firm. Without that written plan, I know the disappointments would have been far more frequent—and far more damaging.